The call

I got a call from my radiologist oncologist saying that after looking more closely at my PET scan results they did find a small area on my abdomen that is still "diseased". So, I had to go in for another marking session. They redid the marks on my chest and sides and added a few on my tummy.

When the phone rang this past weekend telling me I had to do radiation on my tummy I was very upset. The nurse kept apologizing and really couldn't answer any of the questions I had. My Dr. eventually got on the phone and explained that it is hardly noticeable but it does need to be treated.

Luckily, my sisters are on Spring break so they watched Logan and Mason while Keoki and I went to my appointment. It was good to be with Keoki. It's been a long time since we had a chance to be together. We've been working so much lately that I miss him. Anyway, again I started to feel sad sitting in the waiting room and when they called me I jumped up and walked with the radiologist through the swinging doors. Keoki yelled after us and asked if he could come along but the radiologist explained that he would have to wait outside because no one is allowed in the room when the machines are on. I felt like a child walking with their doctor and their parents telling them it's going to be ok when they know its not. It wasn't that bad actually. I got to talk to the radiologist and they were asking me what my doctor said and explained to me that I'll be using the tomography radiation machine. It's a new type of radiation machine that allows the radiologist to view your scans daily to make necessary adjustments. I guess that eased my mind a little. Keoki worked on a commercial last November for that very same machine. It's weird now I'm going to be using it.

So, I'll go in for my first treatment on Monday. I'll get tattooed and then do my first treatment. In the commercial Keoki worked on for the Queen's Cancer Center's Tomography machine the lady looks calm and relaxed like she was in a spa. I don't think that's the case here but we'll see how it goes.

I've got a PET

Shokudo after my last chemo treatment

It’s been so long since I’ve updated my wellness blog. I completed my 12th and final treatment of chemo on Thurs, 2/28. It was bittersweet. I was so happy to know that I was finishing that part of treatment but sad because that’s what I’ve come to know for the past 12 weeks. I’ve come to realize that I don’t like endings good or bad. I get used to something and am afraid of change. Not knowing what to expect next gives me anxiety. Aside from chemo making me sick and changing my appearance I liked seeing everyone at my doctor’s office every week. I’ve made so many friends. I wonder how other patients that would sit next to me and chat are doing now. I hope they are all getting better and beating their cancers.

Last week I had to do another PET scan to see how big my tumor in my chest is and if I have any other areas in my body with cancer. It also tells my radiologist how to treat me with radiation. My consult was today and I am happy to report that my abdomen is free of cancer. Well, I should say my abdomen does not have cancer cells that are detectable by the scan. After my consultation with my radiologist I was sent in for my marking. It was like I was doing a CT scan and they marked my chest and sides with a sharpie. Next week I’ll get “tattooed” and start my first radiation treatment. I’ll go everyday for three weeks or four. Depends how my tumor responds. I have to admit I did tear when I was done getting marked and changing back into my clothes. It is so different from where I got chemo. When I was getting chemo there was so many people around. If you don’t know me by now I’m totally a people person. During chemo you sit next to someone going through the same thing as you. You chat and even when you don’t talk you know that you are not alone. Everyone sitting in the chair in the chemo room understands what you are going though. When you go to radiation you go to the basement. Right when the door opens it feels cold. The place is nice but I instantly felt the difference. I just felt claustrophobic. I realized that I felt alone. I was getting marked and there was no one there to talk to about how I felt. No one sitting next to me agreeing how nauseas we feel or how chips & salsa is the only thing that tastes good sometimes. I was alone with a huge machine making a loud, weird humming noise. Not even a nurse or tech there to talk to. I was and will be ALONE during my treatments. Not sure if I can handle going everyday for three or four weeks. Then I thought how tiring it would be driving everyday to the hospital. Another scary fact is radiation can actually hurt you more than help you. I mean you could get cancer from radiation. I guess you could get cancer from anything but that freaked me out. I’m sure I’ll be saying how it isn’t that bad once I start but it was a little emotional today.