is it the flu?

In mid-October I felt like I was coming down with the flu. Typical symptoms like high fever, fatigue, body aches, and a crazy headache. I usually get sick for a day maybe two when I get the flu but this was going on three or four days and not getting better. Keoki made me go to the ER. While at the ER the dr. took every blood test and even took a nose and throat scrape to test for the flu. Everything came back normal and he said I probably have a virus or super bug. He told me I was probably dehydrated and hooked me up to an IV. I was a little confused because although I was having all my symptoms I could still eat and drink. After about 7 hours of being in the ER my temp dropped to normal and I was sent on my way back home. The next day my temp spiked again and I was feeling horrible. I tried to go back to the ER but it was so busy and I was so miserable that I couldn’t even sit in a chair. I needed to lie down. After fighting with Keoki he agreed to leave but said I needed to try another ER. We ended up at Straub. Bad move. No one seemed like they were working and only one other person was waiting and they were waiting for a while. We waited for a little over an hour and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I begged Keoki to take me home so I could be in my bed.

I felt slightly better in the morning but still far from normal. I just thought it was a stubborn virus that my body needed more time to figure out how to fight. Still I just felt like something was a little weird. About a week after my symptoms came on I was feeling way better. I made a follow-up appointment with my regular dr. and he agreed that it was probably some kind of virus that my body needed more time to fight off. I was back to normal in a couple of days and thought nothing of my sickness.

THE SHOCKER!!!

Then about a month and a half later in early December I got very sick again. This time I had chills, fever, headache, vomiting, and blurred vision. I went straight to my regular doctor and he told me I probably caught another virus but if symptoms get worse to call. Next day all my symptoms were 10x worse. I couldn’t even get up and focus my eyes. I started vomiting everything I tried to take in. Keoki instantly told me to get ready to go to the ER. I was in the ER, in a room, in no time. I swear they took like 5 vials of blood as soon as I was settled in the room. I got the nose and throat swab again. After a little while the test results came back normal like the last time. Then the ER dr. said we should do a chest x-ray to make sure I didn’t have pneumonia. Well, when the x-ray came back they found a huge mass in my right chest cavity. Almost instantly I was being wheeled to the CAT scan dept. to see if the mass was solid or just a cyst.

At this point Keoki knew something might be going on so he left to take the boys home so he could just concentrate on me. I was alone in the room when the dr. came in and said “well the CAT scan shows you have lymphoma”. I didn’t know what she was saying. Did lymphoma mean cancer? I was alone and freaked out. I instantly called Keoki and told him they have just told me I have lymphoma which I think means cancer. He was already parking the car to come back to the ER so I hung up with him and called my mom. It hurt to hear her voice when she realized what I was saying. I was crying relaying what information I could gather from the nurses and doctors. She kept asking me questions and trying to find a way to prove maybe they had made a mistake. I had to hang up pretty quickly because I was going to be moved to the Clinical Decision Unit. Right before I was going to be wheeled out Keoki stepped in and he looked so scared. We cried but only because of the scary word cancer. We never felt mad but more like we've got a long fight ahead and we're going to do it together.

As I was being wheeled out someone yelled out “wait her mom is here”. Everything was very dizzying with my fever, nausea, and being wheeled on a gurney but I looked up and there was my mom crying her eyes out. It hurt so bad to see her like that. I believe that was one of the first steps to give me the strength to keep positive. I didn’t want my mom to hurt for me. I ended up in my new room awaiting my oncologist to admit me to the hospital and to give me an explanation on what was happening. So quickly I went from what I thought was a bad case of the flu to having my own oncologist awaiting admission to the hospital. I guess for everyone finding out they have cancer it happens very quickly like that.

Next thing I knew I was in a hospital room on the cancer floor at Queen’s Medical Center. I was admitted on 12/4/07 and discharged on 12/15/07. During my 11 day hospital stay I got a spinal tap, bone marrow aspiration, three biopsies, PET scan, various x-rays and CAT scans, and a blood transfusion. My final diagnosis: HODGKINS LYMPHOMA STAGE 3B.

Even though you read the above paragraph and think “how terrible those 11 days must’ve been” It actually wasn’t that bad. I mean yes my body ached and sometimes I just felt sick but I had friends and family visiting me and keeping my spirits up. It was wonderful. I swear I was either laughing or smiling 90% of the time there. Also, the nurses really were great with me. I call them my Tower 7 Diamond Head Angels. Even if they weren’t assigned to me that day they would come in and check how I was doing. Talk story and just make me feel like a friend not just a patient.

To give you a glimpse of what kind of fun we had in the hospital: The 2nd night I was there EVERYONE came. Our families, our friends, just everyone having a big party in my room. We made so much noise I can’t believe the nurses didn’t come in and tell everyone to leave. Of course when you visit someone in the hospital you bring food. My mom knew what was going down and brought her cutting board and knife. Don’t ask how she got past security. She’s Filipino and has her ways..lol. There was so much food and people that my bed ended up being the pupu table. It was great for me to have everyone around me laughing and having a good time.

I also want to thank everyone who sent flowers. It really brightened up my room and made it smell like a florist. It was amazing. We got so many flowers we had some in the bathroom, up high next to the TV and all over any level surface area we could find. We also had pictures up all over the walls and we hung all the cards we got too. I loved just looking around my room and feeling all the love.

Before I was discharged Keoki’s mom and dad had cleared their back room and prepared it for me. It is what I call the Smith Wellness Center. They have a big house and it is very comfortable for me while I recover from my biopsies and undergo chemotherapy. We will be spending lots of time in Mililani during my treatments and I am very thankful to mom and dad for doing this for us. We also get great babysitters for the boys and mom cooks up great meals that not even the side effects of chemo can keep me away.

The whole time since finding out I had a tumor in my chest I did not question God “why me”. My personality would have asked but for some reason from the beginning I knew this was happening for a reason. I wasn’t scared of what was to come because I just knew there would be lessons to be learned from this and I feel that I’m supposed to use this experience to achieve something great. Maybe form a support group for people my age facing cancer or write a book. I’m not sure just yet what it is but I’m sure it’ll come to me as I continue on my journey.