To add to my misery my hair started to fall out this weekend. I would run my fingers through my hair and strands of hair would be in my hand. It was sad but didn’t really hit me until we got home last night. I was in the shower and hair was just coming out. Not in clumps but lots of strands. This is the first time cancer got to me. I know I have cancer but it’s the first time my emotions took over. I just started to cry and cry in the shower. In the beginning when I was told my hair was going to come out I was ready to shave it off and see the odd shape of my head..lol. I had my first wig from my friend Skeeter and felt ready to just shave it all off. But when Keoki cut off my hair I had a cute haircut that I would have never done. I started to like it and now it’s going to be gone soon. I got out of the shower and was in the room changing. I was ok but the tears just started rolling again. I couldn’t stop it. My son Logan heard me and told daddy that mommy was crying. Keoki ran in and grabbed me. I was sobbing so hard at first he couldn’t understand what was going on. Then I just kept saying “my hair, my hair”. He smiled at me and said “I’m glad to see your hair go that means we’re getting rid of your tumor”, “You have to lose the hair to beat that cancer”. He told me that it’s a way of starting anew and seeing me go bald to having hair will show him that our fight is almost at an end. He convinced me that it’ll be fun seeing me grow like a chia pet. He’s too funny. I swear I love that man for knowing how to make things all better. He says that I’m the strong one but he has no idea how amazing he is for doing everything and still managing to keep us smiling and laughing through it all. We are very blessed to have him. I love you Keoki!!!
5 comments:
Sis,
You are a very strong beautiful woman. I have always looked up to you. You have a loving husband, beautiful family and supportive positive people around you. I apologize for not keeping in touch. Eh by the way, I got you something from Japan. I should be in town on the 16 to the 18th. I have faith in you, may you be blessed with a long life filled with happiness. Miss you sis.
Aloha,
Eugene Tugaoen
Oh Little Smith.
I cry when I know you cry. I also know that Keoki is right. Your hair will grow back more beautiful then ever. This is 2008 and this is your year baby. Cancer will be gone before you know. You look great with short hair. You will look even better with no hair. It's the face. Thank mom and dad for that gorgeous face. We love you too much!!!!!!!!!
Big Smith,
cousin Eeps
Ash,
You are one of the most beautiful people I have ever met - with or without hair. We all know that you're going to be one of those sickening people who look just as beautiful without it! I want you to know that I am thinking of you constantly and thank God for bringing you and your wonderful family into my life.
Love you all,
Kristin
Ashley,
You are such an inspiration with your faith and strength. How fortunate to have such supportive families: relatives, coworkers, friends, etc.
Take care & please let me know if I can be of help to you in any ways.
Aloha,
Angela
Ash,
I'm so happy to hear how strong you got and how strong you are going through what your going through. People like you is what makes us weak people strong. Knowing how beautiful,talented,and a special friend can touch many people in this world is amazing Ash. I'm so sorry your going through this and I will pray for you. I know you can beat this you have always over come problems and made it to the top. Your a fighter in your own ways and no matter what a beauty within and out. Take care and always know there are people and friends who are praying for you and by yourside..You go girl..I still need you for my wedding pictures..LOL..So you get better and show your beauty through the pictures you take for me..LOL..TTYL love yah and take care..GOD BLESS
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